At Bonhomie LLC, we provide individual, family, and couples therapy. We provide these therapies surrounding trauma/PTSD, men’s issues, women’s issues, cultural issues, adjustment, divorce/custody/family issues, spiritual concerns, life transitions, and more. While open to working with anyone ages 12 and above of any background, we greatly enjoy working with teenagers followed by young adults. If you feel that your concern or age has not been covered, please contact us to schedule a consultation to discuss your need.

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Adulting. Are You About That Life?

We are in the swing of one of my favorite times of the year: graduation season! High school students are going to prom and preparing to leave the nest. College students are applying to dream careers and dream programs to continue their studies. Others are still pushing to reach the end mark, or strategizing their path toward the end mark.

No matter where you are in the course of things, leaving home to embark on any journey toward adulthood is a test. A test of will, strength, wisdom, love, and most importantly character.

An excerpt of this article is published in issue #58 of Twenty4Seven Magazine featuring Karlie Redd.

When I think of the experiences of myself and other with leaving home, I recall all of the mixed emotions. The excitement of finally being free from my parent’s rule (or so I thought), to live life on my own terms. There was this overwhelming sense of pressure from all of the new responsibilities that I was taking on. I can’t forget the fear I felt. I feared failing my parents or myself in some sort of way. Those emotions and a few others, sent me through a course of experiences that bring me leave you with 5 tips for navigating young adulthood.

Get to know yourself more in the course of your studies

So often we leave high school thinking that we know all there is to know about ourselves. We generally only know the basics. We leave college and pursue our careers. We definitely know ourselves now. If you truly remain open to growth, you will see that there is also an inner level of progression that occurs within each stage of life. Be sure to feed that inner growth as an individual along with your scholastic or career growth. You’ll be glad you did.

Push through the fear of risks and challenges

Somewhere along the way, you will be presented with a risk or challenge. Eventually you will have been presented with many of them. Risks and challenges present themselves to convict you, test you, or put you back on path. Sometimes I have clients ask me why do they keep experiencing the same type of difficulty. Generally they have been avoiding whatever the challenge is putting before them. Go ahead and take on the challenge early. The longer you wait, the more challenging the challenge or risk can become.

Learn how you truly need to be supported

A high school diploma or college degree is not a magical tool that opens some portal free of difficulty or challenge. It also does not give unending knowledge of all there is to know about the world either. Many times they are painted in this light. I have had client and parent alike in my office questioning the existence of barriers. The parents are blaming the child and the child blames the parents for the lack of support. When asked how to be best supported, the child has no clue. Do you need action? A listening ear? Educational information? Do you need a hug and a shoulder to cry on? Learn what you need and how to communicate those needs.

Refuse to compromise your core values for others

Whether it is that you want to fit in to a friend group, organization or make your parents proud. Please keep in mind that you are the individual that will have to live with the results of your work. How will you really feel about yourself the day after stealing with ‘friends’ in the mall? Will you continuously enjoy working in that career field that you parents are joyfully bragging about you majoring in? Do what makes you happy. Most importantly, do what does not diminish you.

Ask for help when you need it

Pride and ego have ruined many promising pathways. We all reach uncharted territory at some point in our journey. Some move through that territory with ease while others may need guidance. Do not hinder your growth by not seeking help. The usual excuses I hear with this fall between ego and being afraid of scrutiny. There’s no need to fear the results of seeking help when you are the one that is in control of choosing the source of your help. Choose wisely.

Corletha Norman

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